![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
so i WAS GOING TO write a whole thing about my weekend and some nifty things I've
done recently...but then I went into work this morning and find I must write about
the email I got instead from a random hotmail account. (See Below)
"Kim:
I do not know how to tell this to your face, so I am sending a cowardly
e-mail. You need to work on your hygiene. You need to bathe regularly,
wash and comb your hair, use deodorant, and wear clothes that do not look
like you just took them out of the dirty laundry basket. I know this is a
hard thing to discuss, but people at work are talking about your lack of
hygiene, even the shop floor people. Please take this as friendly advice
and not as an attack on you personally.
Sorry, but someone needed to tell you.
The Coward"
I admit I was upset when I got this. Heck I cried. And then i started thinking about it. I do wash everday and brush my hair. I wear deodorant. It didn't make much sense. I tend to wear
semi-dress pants and button down shirt to work. In fact they're the no-iron type of shirts that you just shake and wrinkles come out of. The only thing I could find to possibly fault there is I don't always tuck them in,
but I don't see that as slovenly on women at all.
As for the odor issue, I admit I've had a low grade fever on and off for 2 weeks, so maybe that was a factor. I also can't wear really smelly deoderant...I'm allergic to a good chunk of the perfume carriers. I actually emailed a friend whose seen me recently about this (and lives
in the area) and she said she never noticed anything. She also sees me after work a lot...in my work clothes and didn't think they were odd. Hmmm...so basically I'm puzzled. The email implies I never wash, which I do, and my friend reaffirmed my thoughts on this.
I was a little out of it last week, and I did have one day where I spilt something on myself in the first hour at work...but I actually keep a dress shirt in my car for this reason....and I changed immediately.
As for my hair-it's blonde and fine. It's the type of hair that has a will of its own. Always has. I brush it and it then promptly does what it wants. Heck anyone with really blonde hair knows, it gets darker as the day progresses. The amount of time it takes my hair to get oily is actually somewhat absurd. I've taken to keeping it in a ponytail on and off recently for that reason. I think I may cut my bangs tonight.
So I don't quite know what to think about this email. It maybe that I'm not "girlie" enough - I don't wear perfume and make-up. My other thought on it was that the timing was somewhat suspect. I'm taking over a project from one of the male engineers who is leaving tomorrow. I work with mostly white men in the 40+ range with a few younger men. I'm the only female project engineer (there's one design engineer whose a bit older than I). I can't help but wonder if it isn't a case of "Let's see if we can make the young female engineer cry"....but that doesn't fit in with my workplace as a whole.
Not sure what to do about this. I don't think I smell and I'm not going to go in and change my whole look or obsess because some random person tells me to. The horrible thing about an email like this is it makes you wonder what everyone is thinking about you and can easily make you paranoid when talking to folks. I half wonder if that wasn't the reason it was sent.
Personally, I could respect someone who spoke to me in person...I can't with an email like this. It's the sort of email designed to make a person feel like sh*t. For the most part I'm managing to ignore it, although the perverse side of me wants to not bath or brush and dress from the hamper just to prove something....but then I'd actually have to do those things *shudder*
Not sure what to think...
only other random observation....one of the quality engineers whose about 30 came in today drenched in cologne...I noticed it before I got this email and I kinda wonder if it's related....In any event I spent the day avoiding him...being near him made me itch. If he's that over the top tomorrow I might say something.
done recently...but then I went into work this morning and find I must write about
the email I got instead from a random hotmail account. (See Below)
"Kim:
I do not know how to tell this to your face, so I am sending a cowardly
e-mail. You need to work on your hygiene. You need to bathe regularly,
wash and comb your hair, use deodorant, and wear clothes that do not look
like you just took them out of the dirty laundry basket. I know this is a
hard thing to discuss, but people at work are talking about your lack of
hygiene, even the shop floor people. Please take this as friendly advice
and not as an attack on you personally.
Sorry, but someone needed to tell you.
The Coward"
I admit I was upset when I got this. Heck I cried. And then i started thinking about it. I do wash everday and brush my hair. I wear deodorant. It didn't make much sense. I tend to wear
semi-dress pants and button down shirt to work. In fact they're the no-iron type of shirts that you just shake and wrinkles come out of. The only thing I could find to possibly fault there is I don't always tuck them in,
but I don't see that as slovenly on women at all.
As for the odor issue, I admit I've had a low grade fever on and off for 2 weeks, so maybe that was a factor. I also can't wear really smelly deoderant...I'm allergic to a good chunk of the perfume carriers. I actually emailed a friend whose seen me recently about this (and lives
in the area) and she said she never noticed anything. She also sees me after work a lot...in my work clothes and didn't think they were odd. Hmmm...so basically I'm puzzled. The email implies I never wash, which I do, and my friend reaffirmed my thoughts on this.
I was a little out of it last week, and I did have one day where I spilt something on myself in the first hour at work...but I actually keep a dress shirt in my car for this reason....and I changed immediately.
As for my hair-it's blonde and fine. It's the type of hair that has a will of its own. Always has. I brush it and it then promptly does what it wants. Heck anyone with really blonde hair knows, it gets darker as the day progresses. The amount of time it takes my hair to get oily is actually somewhat absurd. I've taken to keeping it in a ponytail on and off recently for that reason. I think I may cut my bangs tonight.
So I don't quite know what to think about this email. It maybe that I'm not "girlie" enough - I don't wear perfume and make-up. My other thought on it was that the timing was somewhat suspect. I'm taking over a project from one of the male engineers who is leaving tomorrow. I work with mostly white men in the 40+ range with a few younger men. I'm the only female project engineer (there's one design engineer whose a bit older than I). I can't help but wonder if it isn't a case of "Let's see if we can make the young female engineer cry"....but that doesn't fit in with my workplace as a whole.
Not sure what to do about this. I don't think I smell and I'm not going to go in and change my whole look or obsess because some random person tells me to. The horrible thing about an email like this is it makes you wonder what everyone is thinking about you and can easily make you paranoid when talking to folks. I half wonder if that wasn't the reason it was sent.
Personally, I could respect someone who spoke to me in person...I can't with an email like this. It's the sort of email designed to make a person feel like sh*t. For the most part I'm managing to ignore it, although the perverse side of me wants to not bath or brush and dress from the hamper just to prove something....but then I'd actually have to do those things *shudder*
Not sure what to think...
only other random observation....one of the quality engineers whose about 30 came in today drenched in cologne...I noticed it before I got this email and I kinda wonder if it's related....In any event I spent the day avoiding him...being near him made me itch. If he's that over the top tomorrow I might say something.
