yeah

i may actually get to work normal hours again. we're almost done with the testing. yeah..happy dance. maybe i'll even finish fixing my computer. the ethernet card refuses to install correctly; can't rememer clearly how i fixed it last time. got fed up with it; bought a new one that's supposedly better; still doesn't work....grrr....now if i can just remember how i fixed it last time. it doesn't help i installed a new hardrive...i suspect i must have overlooked a driver or somehting. even went into regedit attempting a fix...oh well

all else is pretty good. starting to think about getting ready for Pennsic and looking forward to the 4th of July weekend.

fabric - physical and emotional

i have fabric, hear me roar...actually hear me look around for a better sewing table and ultimately fall under a pile of linen.

need to make garb. need to figure out what sort of garb to make.

need to take body measurements.

am slightly bummed b/c my favorite online fabric store appears to have gone downhill. They still have good linen at about 4-5/yd but the selection is MUCH less than it used to be and their new website less friendly. grrrr....oh well shouldn't buy new fabric anyways until i use some of what I have...but it's sad b/c they were a great source and i haven't found any good place out here yet....although i'm sure they exist.

found out that the people who make polartec supposedly sell factory seconds at their plant....bit far to go though. anyone know good fabric stores in NH or the Boston area?

made some contact with local SCA...appears still no fencers :( but they have a crafts night about 45 minutes from here every week.

bit lonely out here still but had a good day at work. woke up really happy for no good reason this morning...but then it's summer.

saw some old friends from my fraternity (yes it was co-ed) two weekends ago and that was odd....hadn't seen them in 2 years. Dan has grown shoulder muscles. I miss some of those people and they live much closer now; but I don't miss all of them and some of them made me feel trapped in an image of me that wasn't me.

I knew too many girls who were too tiny at rpi and by extension made me feel big. I tried too hard to be one of the guys. I was outgoing and silly; but sometimes I just became a character of me. not to all of them but to a few. It's hard when you see someone's stereotypes of you reflected in their eyes. assumptions that are just plain out wrong or too simple. It's also painful when some of these people are friends. For gods' sake not everything needs to be surface deep to exist.

I have real mixed emotions about seeing one or two of them again; which I undoubtly will if I see the others. Some preconceptions are so funny that they're absurd, but I still have to deal with the reactions of people to their own mis-ideas about me. And the thing is there's little I can do to change them. I don't care about that really; I care that it affects my interactions with people I do want to see. but mixed emotions come so easily to me when i deal with my fraternity. as a group. individually, i adore some of them, and other...well...i don't.

oh well. it's really not that important but it colored my weekend last week.