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The following is an explanation of what happens to me sometimes when I write plot-

I have the bad habit of giving motivations and characters to too many of my NPC parts. This sometimes turns into a problem as it takes up a lot of time, and doesn't always advance the story as quickly as I'd like.

Unnamed Minion number 12 does not need that much background. Unamed minion number 12, does not need character history and a favoured fighting style.

But by the mere act of noticing he is unnamed, I have started to referring to him as Bob in my head. He is no longer just an unnamed minion.

And Bob now has a character background, and an attitude, and he's telling me about his wife and kid. And now the wife has a name also.

And Bob is asking me why I don't want to write about him...cause see he's interesting.

He's not just any minion. He's Bob, former minion number 12.
And he does have a favorite fighting style, he likes staff and spear.

And Bob is raising an imaginery staff in my mind and stamping his feet. He wants to be talked about and He doesn't want to go off just anywhere to fight and maybe die, unless it will be dramatic and will help his character arc.

And now Bob is starting to tell lies about himself to me, Big ones!
As if I wouldn't notice!
How Bob was once a prince in a foreign land!
How Bob scaled Mt. Everest! (Bob had never been out of Nebraska before 2 years ago).

Bob is a bit of an ass.

"I heard that"

"Well, you are. You have an attitude, Bob".

I am so sick of him right now. He just won't let me be.

"I just want you to write about me! Stop paying attention to that other plot, it's not as interesting."

But I have other plot to write, and I wish Bob would shut up. He's right that it isn't as interesting in some ways, but I'm on a time deadline.

So I start writing my other plot, and Bob keeps interjecting -

"I can help with that. I could totally be in that plot! Really, I could! See I'm bright and shiny new plot!"

"NO that wouldn't work Bob!"

"Shut up Bob!"

Bob pokes around some more, "Hey you have ghosts! I could totally hang out with ghosts!...and look over there are zombies! You've been holding out on me!"

"Go away Bob!"

Bob raises an imaginery spear, I don't know where he got it and that worries me, and he stamps his feet.
"I want to talk about my motivation!"

I try to ignore him.

"Fine if you aren't going to pay attention to me...I'll....I'll go kill a Kobold!"

"Fine Bob, leave me alone!...go kill a .....hey wait!!, there aren't Kobolds in this world!...Bob!"

"What?! Then what do you call those greenish things?"

"Greenish things? Bob? What are you talking about?,.."

"The green things with the primitive weapons!"

"..oh the Caramahz!, The Caramahz are not kobolds"

"They're greenish and so are kobolds!"

"So are kiwis, Bob!"

I sigh in frustration

"Fine! go kill a Caramahz!, How much trouble could that cause?"

And so Bob goes off and kills a Caramahz, and of course its a key Caramahz, that he shouldn't kill
and it starts a minor war.

You see, I can't leave Bob alone or he just starts trouble. Bob is an ass.

"Okay, Bob, fine what will it take for you to leave me alone so I can finish my other plots?"

"Write about me!"

"UGH! okay, okay, fine, I'll write a whole thing, but first I need to finish this. And I may need to change your name and some other minor details."

Bob grumbles, "Okay, I guess that's alright."

"We have a deal? Good, though you should know you are an extortionist, Bob."

Bob grumbles again, and apologizes and attempts to look meek. It doesn't work. Bob is an ass.

But I think he's just happy not to be unnamed minion number 12 anymore, who was marching off to die.

This whole thing though has not helped me get my plots done.


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April 2016



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